


I've got your back

by thegoatz



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Crying, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Light Smut, M/M, Manipulative Relationship, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, and im. still not fucking over it, at the start that is, based on the 3rd of sep sdl episode, basically roman gets protective of daniel, btw this isnt proof read so wHOOPS, daniel and erick's divorce was rough ok, light. as in it is Implied but not described, lying, platonic sleeping together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-04-06
Packaged: 2020-10-10 19:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20533148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegoatz/pseuds/thegoatz
Summary: His own eyes feel heavy, and just before he sleeps, he quietly mumbles, "don't worry Daniel, I've got your back no matter what."





	1. Our hearts are one

His whole body ached after being put through the table. He had a couple of bruises on his arm, his neck was stiff, and his back just hadn't stopped hurting. Daniel winces as he slowly sits down on the bed.

The hotel room that he was staying in felt empty without Erick in it. Erick always used to visit him after shows and matches, sometimes they would talk, and plan, but sometimes they would just sit in a comfortable silence, basking in the presence of each other.

Daniel misses that.

The relationship that he had with Erick was something that Daniel hadn't quite figured out, and he had hoped that he would eventually be able to but it looks like that time has passed. When their partnership first started, something in his heart warned Daniel to not let him get too close, he still hadn't fully gotten over Kane, but against his better judgement, he did.

He let Erick get too close to him, and now he misses him more than he thought he would.

The two of them had shared private moments before; when Daniel got blindsided by rage Erick would calm him down, he would put his hands on Daniel's shoulders, and look deep into his eyes, and Daniel swears that he could feel the anger, and tension, seeping out. They would stand like that, so close to each other, and sometimes Daniel would lean in. Sometimes it would be a kiss, just a little thank you that seemed so very Daniel, and sometimes he would just lean into Erick's warmth, letting it envelop him. He would close his eyes, and breathe Erick in.

Now that he thinks back to it, he never should have let his guard down, he never should have been so stupid, he never should have been so _human_.

But he was, and now he wishes he never had.

If you were to ask him, Daniel wouldn't be able to say why he lashed out at Erick. He had always had problems with his anger, everyone knows that, and sometimes it's just hard to keep it under control. He just wishes that he wasn't such a goddamned idiot and had kept himself level-headed, and he can't help but wonder what would have happened if he had just kept himself under control.

Would Erick have done what he had done? Would he be here right now? Why couldn't Daniel just be better?

What did he do wrong?

All these thoughts keep rushing through his mind, and he feels himself getting pulled under, he feels like he's drowning in guilt and fear. He didn't want this, Erick was his friend, but not even that, Erick was more.

And now Erick was gone.

All thanks to him.

A soft knock at the door breaks him out of his stupor, and for a split second, his heart fills with hope, wondering if Erick came back and that Daniel can make everything right again.

His body protests as he gets up off of the bed, his back burning slightly as he moves, but at that moment he doesn't care, and he can't help the way that his heart starts to beat faster, and faster with every second that passes. He hesitates ever so slightly once he reaches the door, his hand hovering over the handle as if preparing himself for what he's going to see.

The knock comes again, slightly harder: more persistent, and Daniel finally opens the door. At this point, he's gone over what he was going to say to Erick a million times over.

But Erick wasn't there.

No, instead of Erick, Roman was stood at the door, a thousand different emotions plastered on his face.

Daniel was shocked, to say the least, his eyes wide as he stands there, his mouth hanging open as he struggles to find the words to say.

"Hey, Daniel," Roman says, slightly sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck as he struggles to make eye contact, "can I come in?"

Daniel doesn't really know what to say, so he just nods his head, stepping out of the way to let Roman through. Roman steps in tentatively like he doesn't want to overstep his boundaries, and Daniel can't understand why he let the man who has been the source of so much anger and sadness walk right into his room. He feels defensive like somehow just being with Roman is betraying the trust that he had with Erick.

But then he's bitterly reminded of the previous night's events and suddenly he feels just as lost as he did before.

One half of him wants to tell Roman to get out of his sight, because if it wasn't for him, then maybe, just maybe, Erick would still be there by his side, that Erick would still be there comforting him, that Erick wouldn't hate him. But the other half of him wants to see what Roman has to say because even though the wound left by Erick is still raw and open, a small part of him knows that he wasn't in the wrong: that he was innocent.

Erick was just using him all along and Daniel shouldn't have let him get so close. He got burned by the flame, and in the end, it was only Daniel who was to blame.

"Look, Daniel, I'm not gonna beat around the bush, and I just wanted to say that... I'm sorry."

Daniel was slightly taken aback by what Roman said, for weeks now he had been demanding an apology, and now he's finally got it, but it doesn't feel nearly as sweet as he had hoped. He's feeling emotions that he never wanted to feel, and the memories are all flooding back, and Daniel just wants to be alone.

"Y- yeah, okay. Thanks," Daniel says, trying to think of the words that would get Roman to leave the fastest, "is that all you came to say?"

Roman looked at Daniel with a gaze full of suspicion, "yeah it was, but I was kinda expecting a different reaction."

"Well, Roman, as you saw, I'm not having the best time," Daniel says, wincing slightly as his back throbs unexpectedly, stretching his back out to try and alleviate the pain.

"A- and I also wanted to say sorry about the spear. I was just, not thinking right, y'know?"

Daniel laughs hollowly, still wincing from the pain in his back, "oh yeah, I know how that feels."

Roman looks more concerned than Daniel thought he would be, saying, "Hey, Daniel are you sure that you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just from... well y'know."

Roman nods his head solemnly, but Daniel can still see the guilt that's laced in Roman's eyes, "I could stay and help if you wanted me to."

Daniel eyes him suspiciously, "why do you want to help me?"

"I- I just feel a little bit guilty is all. After all, that's happened to you over the past few weeks, with my spear and Erick putting you through the ta-"

"Yeah, yeah I- I get the point."

"So, can I help?"

"It's nothing, I'm fine, don't worry."

"Daniel, that sure doesn't look like nothing."

Roman walks over to Daniel, concern lacing his blue eyes, and suddenly Daniel is reminded of Erick, of the times when he would fret and worry over him even if he took the slightest bump. It makes his heart clench and he's inwardly fighting himself. He wants Roman to stay, to help him because it reminds him of Erick, but at the same time, the memory of him makes his stomach twist up into knots.

Roman places a hand on Daniel's back, immediately withdrawing it when Daniel lets out a sharp hiss. He lets out a hasty apology, one which Daniel dismisses almost instantly.

"Sit down on the bed," Roman says, his voice soft, and Daniel looks up at him, his eyes wide and honest. He's _vulnerable_: he's not hiding behind his usual façade and Roman knows he has to be careful; he just doesn't know what'll push Daniel over the edge.

Daniel gives him a curt nod and sits delicately on the bed, letting out a small wince as he does so.

"I'm gonna get some ice for your back, but, uh, get your shirt off for when I get back."

Daniel's eyebrows raise a little bit, and Roman has to fight off the blush that rises to his cheeks, "Daniel, you wrestle without a shirt, it's nothing I haven't seen before."

Daniel stares at him for a second longer before he starts to take it off gritting his teeth when the pain starts to worsen, watching as Roman goes to get ice.

It's weird, to say the least: how delicate that Roman is being towards him, and he knows that one day, a few years ago, he might have been annoyed at how Roman was acting towards him, but not now. Roman's behaviour reminds him of Erick, and Daniel just isn't ready to let Erick go just yet. Erick was, safe, he was home, well maybe not anymore, but Erick was something that Daniel knew, and he doesn't want that feeling to fade.

A small part of him is wondering if he's using Roman to fill the hole that Erick left, and when he thinks about it, he just doesn't know.

Roman returns before Daniel's mind can travel any further down, and Daniel is secretly glad: he doesn't want to think about Erick anymore. Daniel looks up at Roman as he walks over, ice in hand, and he's still slightly curious as to why Roman was so intent on helping him, but he was even more confused as to why he was letting Roman help him, and for a split second, Daniel thinks about pushing Roman away, but the dull throb in his back is enough to make him bite his tongue.

Roman sits on the bed next to him and tells him to turn around, which Daniel does almost instantly.

It's almost like Daniel can hear Roman's wince, as he says, "_god_, Daniel there are a lot of bruises here."

Daniel opens his mouth to speak but is stopped when Roman places the ice against his back, he jumps slightly when he feels the coldness of the ice, Roman is delicate with him, pressing it so lightly that it barely hurts, and Daniel doesn't quite know what to make of it. The ice is almost instantly relieving, and Daniel can almost feel the tension seeping out of him.

"Daniel, look... I'm so sorry about all of this." Roman says with an audible sigh.

Daniel turns his head slightly to the side, "you've already apologised."

"I know I have, but I just want you to know that I am, I mean, I accused you this whole time when it wasn't even you, and you..." Roman trails off for a second as if trying to find the words to say. Daniel waits patiently, "... you tried to stop Erick from attacking me, and I see all these bruises on your back, and I just feel guilty."

Daniel's brows raise, and he doesn't know what to say; Roman's words causing Daniel to remember all the events from the previous night. It's almost like Daniel can feel the wounds opening up again, almost like he can feel himself start to bleed. He doesn't exactly know what to say, his mind fumbling over trying to forget what happened and to console Roman, who so obviously feels like he's to blame.

"It's not your fault." He says, quieter than he wanted to, louder than a whisper but soft enough that Roman has to strain to listen to.

Roman sighs again, louder this time, and moves the ice to a different part of Daniel's back.

"I know it's not, it's Erick's fault an-" Roman says noticing the way that Daniel flinches from his name, "- Daniel are you okay?"

"Can we please just not talk about this? I really don't want to think about him anymore."

"Y- yeah okay."

Roman moves the pack of ice to a different spot and Daniel shifts a little bit.

"You okay?"

Daniel nods his head, "the ice is helping, thank you, I'm just n-"

"Not over it?"

Daniel nods his head again, this time more solemnly.

"That's understandable, " Roman says, picking his words carefully, "I'm always here to talk... i- if you need to, of course."

"Thank you," he says, his voice tight, and not quite right in all the wrong places.

Roman glances at the time and realises that he's been there for far too long. He can tell that Daniel is tired, he can see it in the way that Daniel is slumping over slightly. Most of the ice has melted, and Roman asks him, "Daniel, it's getting late.

Daniel makes a confused noise, turning around to glance at the clock, "huh, I suppose it is."

"I think, that it might be time that I go."

Daniel springs up when Roman said that, turning around so fast that Roman knows that it has got to hurt, and he instinctively reaches out to grab his arm, stopping Daniel from hurting himself even more. Daniel grabs his arm in return, gripping so tightly that it's borderline painful. His eyes are wild and unnerved, and he looks so vulnerable that Roman is at a loss for words.

"Daniel? What's wrong?"

"D- don't leave, please."

Roman's brows raise in surprise, and his grip on Daniel's arm softens considerably, his mouth hangs open dumbly as he stutters over his words, "O- okay, I'll stay if you want me to."

Daniel nods his head vigorously, "I- I don't want to be alone, not since..."

He trails off and Roman lets out a sad smile.

"It's late Daniel, you need to sleep."

Daniel glances at the bed behind him, and then back at Roman, his eyes asking a question that his mouth just doesn't seem to voice.

"Hey," Roman says, his voice soft, and quiet, "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep if you'd like."

Daniel nods his head once more, and Roman quickly realises that his hand on Daniel's arm hadn't moved. He reluctantly lets go of Daniel's arm and motions for him to climb into bed.

He feels out of place as he watches Daniel climb into bed, wanting to help him, but not knowing exactly how to help. He lets out another involuntary wince when he sees the bruises on his back in a different light. Daniel lays on his stomach, the covers pulled up to his waist, just below the bruises, just the feeling of the cover touching them is enough to make them hurt again. Roman is sat next to him, outside the covers, looking as Daniel gets comfortable.

It feels strange, but not uncomfortable, and the two of them wait in silence before Daniel mumbles, "you remind me of him."

Roman's brow furrows ever so slightly, "him? As in Erick?"

"Yeah."

"I- is that a good thing?"

Daniel thinks for a moment, reaching out towards Roman to fiddle with the little buckles on the side of his trousers, "I meant it in a good way. He- he made me feel safe, and... I don't know, I just miss him."

"Daniel he hurt you."

"I- I know that but-"

"But nothing Daniel, you trusted him, and he betrayed you. You deserve better than that."

Daniel stops playing with the buckles and looks up at him, his eyes a little wet.

"I just..."

"Yeah?"

"I just want him back."

Roman shifts down the bed, so that he's laying next to Daniel, and the smaller man immediately reaches out for him. Daniel's arm goes over Roman's waist bringing them closer, and he almost immediately buries his head in Roman's chest. Roman's arm comes around Daniel's shoulders, and he instinctively curls his fingers lightly in Daniel's hair and Roman is extremely careful not to touch the bruises that litter Daniel's back.

Roman can feel the front of his shirt getting wet, and he is quick to reassure him. It doesn't take long before Daniel is calming: the stress of the past few days, and the pain that he's been in has taken his toll on Daniel. Roman lets Daniel's head rest on his chest, and Daniel can hear the steady thud of his heart, occasionally letting out small, quiet sniffles.

Just as Roman thinks that Daniel has gone to sleep, Daniel meekly calls out, "Roman?"

He looks down at Daniel, and sees that he's solely focused on playing with the fabric of his shirt, the sight causing a small smile to form on his face, "yeah, Daniel?"

"Thank you, for being here for me."

"It's okay, Daniel."

Daniel shifts slightly, getting more comfortable, and Roman lets his head drop back, despite the undoubtedly late time, he had a feeling that he wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. He lets his thoughts drift: his mind wonder, but no matter what he thinks, his thoughts always turn back to Daniel.

"You and him were close, weren't you?" He says without really thinking. Roman realises what he said and immediately opened his mouth to apologise, but what stopped when Daniel answered.

"We were," He says quietly, "but not anymore I guess."

Roman still had an apology on the tip of his tongue but knew that there was no point in asking it, Daniel didn't seem hurt by the question.

Instead, he quietly mumbles, "I won't leave you like he did, I promise you."

Daniel looks up at him, his chin resting on Roman's chest, he looks tired and innocent, it makes something flare-up in Roman's chest. For a second he thinks that Daniel is going to say something, but instead, he gives him a tired, lop-sided, grin, so human and full of gratitude that it slightly takes Roman aback. Daniel lets his head settle back on Roman's chest, and it doesn't take long before Daniel is asleep.

His own eyes feel heavy, and just before he sleeps, he quietly mumbles, "don't worry Daniel, I've got your back no matter what."


	2. Our hands are one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel mumbles out a response, his eyes already closed, and Roman lets out another chuckle, deep and velvety right in Daniel's ear.
> 
> "C'mon, lie down with me, you need sleep."

Daniel wakes up long before Roman does.

He's sitting on the side of the bed, hunched over, looking at something in his hands. Roman blinks rapidly as he wakes, trying to remain silent as though not to disturb the thing that held Daniel's attention so strongly. He rubs the tiredness from his eyes, trying his hardest to keep his eyes open, as he stifles a yawn.

Daniel still wasn't wearing his shirt, and the warm sunlight that streams through the blinds makes the bruises littered on his back look more grotesque than ever. Just looking at them makes bile rise in Roman's throat. Guilt piles in his stomach and Roman forces himself to look away. He still hasn't forgiven himself for what he did to Daniel, and he doesn't think that he ever will.

Daniel doesn't notice him at all, and Roman has to wonder just what Daniel is looking at.

It piques his curiosity, and probably against his better judgement, he looks over Daniel's shoulders and sees that Daniel is messaging someone. It doesn't take long for Roman to work out just who he was messaging. Daniel's thumbs start to move as he types out another message and, Roman knows that it's wrong, but he just can't look away, and with every message that he reads, his stomach sinks lower and lower, and the feeling of his heart clenching painfully is stronger than ever.

_Please, just call or message me._

_I'm so sorry._

_I miss you._

Daniel's thumb hovers over the message that he was going to send, and Roman has to remind himself to breathe. It's pitifully funny how three little words could destroy even the strongest of men, and Roman just can't explain the way that his heart physically hurts reading the message.

_I love you._

Roman half expects Daniel to send the message, but he doesn't. Deleting it with a loud sigh, and Roman quickly shifts away so that Daniel doesn't notice that he was looking.

Daniel turns his head around to glance over at Roman, something lighting up in his eyes when he sees that he's awake. Daniel gives him a small smile, something that seems more human than he had in a while, and Roman can't help but return his own, and yet even though Daniel's smile seems genuine, Roman can see the tiredness in his eyes.

Roman shifts over to Daniel, swinging his legs over the side of the bed so that he's sitting next to Daniel. They sit in a comfortable silence, basking in the presence of each other. Roman tilts his head to the side, getting a better look at the man beside him. He sees his beard, wild and untamed, little tufts of it sticking up in random directions. His hair dishevelled and doesn't carry its usual shine. Daniel is biting his chapped lip, gnawing away as his brow is furrowed so deeply in thought, that his nose is slightly scrunched up. His eyes are tired and sunken, and yet, despite all his impurities, Roman finds himself completely enamoured.

Roman eventually asks, "when did you wake up?" his voice soft, _genuine_, and it slightly takes Daniel off guard.

"A couple of hours ago, maybe? I- I wasn't really paying attention."

"Does your back still hurt?"

Daniel gave him a solemn nod, and Roman gave him a sad smile in response. They sit in silence again, and Roman was about to say something else but was stopped when Daniel let his head drop on Roman's shoulder. It feels right: the soft pressure on his shoulder and Roman lets out a soft smile.

Daniel lets out a quiet yawn, his whole face scrunching up as he does so, and Roman lets out an almost silent chuckle. Daniel looks up at him, his eyes wide, and slightly glassy. He looks tired. Tired but so naïve, so guileless, his round eyes are filled with so much emotion, but yet they don't hold their usual shine, and Roman can't figure out just _what_ emotion that is filling Daniel's tired eyes: whether it be, sadness, comfort, or maybe a mixture of the two, Roman just doesn't know.

Daniel looks back down again, putting some more weight onto Roman, as he leans into him, and Roman lets his head rest on Daniel's. He doesn't know if they should be doing this. He doesn't exactly know what his relationship with Daniel _is_, hell, he doesn't even know what Daniel's relationship with _Erick_ is, and yet, it feels, almost, perfectly natural when Daniel's hand slots in his, entwining their fingers together.

Daniel's hands are... soft, surprisingly so, a big contrast to Roman's rough, calloused, hands. Roman runs his thumb over Daniel's, so gently that Daniel could barely feel it, and he might not have felt it if his eyes weren't plastered onto their conjoined hands. With Roman, it feels right, but Daniel just can't shake the feeling that somehow he's betraying Erick, and just the thought of him leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.

But seeing Roman be so gentle with him, running his thumb so softly over his own as if worried that he might somehow disturb the softness of his skin makes his heart feel strange. He feels safe. Genuinely safe. With Erick, sure he felt comforted, but there was always that slight hint of worry that Erick might lash out at any given moment, a thought that never seemed to leave Daniel whenever he was with him, but with Roman, it was completely different.

With Roman, he felt safe, wholly and completely safe. Roman felt like home, and Daniel doesn't quite know how to comprehend that. He doesn't know whether to push him away, or to pull him close: he's torn between the two options, but the dull ache in his back has returned, and the want to sleep is harder to resist than ever. Daniel yawns again, and Roman is quick to say, "You should go back to sleep."

Daniel mumbles out a response, his eyes already closed, and Roman lets out another chuckle, _deep_ and velvety right in Daniel's ear.

"C'mon, lie down with me, you need sleep."

Daniel allows Roman to move the both of them into a comfortable position, almost exactly the same as the previous night, but this time, he's still grasping onto Roman's hand. It feels just as peaceful as the night before, and it doesn't take long before Daniel is drifting off to sleep, and he swears that he can feel Roman's hand softly playing with his hair.


	3. Our minds are one

Roman stays awake to actually make sure that Daniel gets some sleep, and no matter what, Roman never lets go of Daniel's hand. His other hand comes up to slowly sift through Daniel's hair, and he feels Daniel physically snuggle up to him in his sleep, pressing their bodies as close together a humanly possible, clinging to him so tightly as if Daniel just doesn't want to let him go.

Roman holds on just as tight.

And as the hours slowly tick by, he realises just how long he's gone without a shower, and fights off the urge to gently push Daniel off of him to quickly shower and then come back, but decides against it when remembering his promise to Daniel. Even asleep, Roman wouldn't think about leaving him, especially when he still owes Daniel so much.

He doesn't know if Daniel has forgiven him, he doesn't know if he ever will, but the way that Daniel is clinging to him so desperately, even in sleep, gives him some hope.

Daniel doesn't sleep for long, but long enough that Roman won't tell him to sleep some more, and even after he wakes, he is reluctant to let Roman go. Roman attempts to shift away from Daniel, so he can go and have a shower, but Daniel lets out a quiet whine, his fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer, and Roman stops moving, letting out a quiet sigh as he tries to hide his smile.

"Daniel, c'mon, I need to take a shower."

Daniel lets out a tired yawn against him before reluctantly letting go, grumbling quietly as he does so. Roman's hand lingers in Daniel's hair for a second before he pulls away getting up off of the bed, Daniel stares up at him as he does so, his soft eyes following Roman as he walks across the room. He quickly realises that all off his clothes are in his room, telling Daniel, "I need to go back to my room to shower and get changed, will you be ok without me?"

Daniel nods mutely, rubbing away the tiredness away from his eyes with his palms, "just, uh, don't be long, please." Daniel adds with a quiet voice.

"I won't, 20 minutes tops, _promise_ no longer than that."

Daniel looks up at him from the bed after that, his eyes round and expressive, still slightly puffy from just waking up, his eyes are unfocused ever so slightly, and Roman gives him the softest of smiles. Daniel gives him a half-asleep nod, and Roman flashes him one more grin before turning and walking out the room, walking as quickly as possible to his room.

  
-

  
Roman is only 20 minutes, he makes sure of that. He feels refreshed and clean, and wonders just how Daniel is doing. He opens the door to Daniel's hotel and is slightly surprised by what he sees: Daniel hurrying around his hotel room desperately trying to get changed. His toothbrush is in his mouth as he tries to slip on his shoes, and Roman wonders why Daniel is rushing so impatiently.

"Daniel?"

Daniel looks up at him, Roman has to hide his endeared smile when he sees the toothpaste smudged in the corner of his mouth. Daniel puts on the rest of his shoe and goes into the bathroom. Roman looks around, and see a light on the bedside table, he looks and sees the screen of Daniel's phone lit up. Guilt surges through him when he remembers reading Daniel's messages from before and turns his head away, walking towards the bathroom that Daniel just went into.

Daniel comes out of it just before Roman reaches the door, his clothes slightly messy as he put them on in a rush. Roman tuts as he sees some toothpaste smudged in the corner of Daniel's mouth, just above Daniel's top lip. Roman motions for Daniel to come closer, and he does, his eyes curious.

"You got, something, _here_-" Roman starts, bringing up a hand to Daniel's face.

His thumb runs across the corner of Daniel's upper lip, getting rid of all the leftover toothpaste, Daniel's eyes staring deeply into his as he does so. His thumb rests on Daniel's upper lip, his eyes sparkling so beautifully up close, his skin feels so soft, so delicate, and his beard feels rough and coarse, its a weird contrast but Roman still finds his heart thudding harder, and his fingers reach around so that the tips of them are in Daniel's hair.

"You, uh..."

"Yeah?" Daniel breathes, his hot breath fanning against Roman's thumb.

"Got a little something... on your lip," Roman breathes just as quietly.

They're so close, and all Roman wants is to connect their lips, he doesn't exactly know _why_, he doesn't know if it's the right time, but at that moment, that's the only thing he wants, and it seems that Daniel wants it just as bad. Even though a voice in the back of his mind tells him that it's a bad idea, that he shouldn't be doing this just in case he ends up hurting Daniel, but there's some sort of honest sincerity in Daniel's eyes that silences the voice. He leans down, tilting his head to get a better angle. Daniel's eyes flutter closed as he leans up, his hands coming to rest on Roman's arms, his delicate fingers wrapping around Roman's bicep, digging in ever so slightly. Their noses gently brush against each other, and Roman can feel Daniel's breath against his lips, he can taste the freshness of his toothpaste.

They're mere millimetres away from each other, but the shrill _shrieking_ of Daniel's phone going off on the bedside table causes both of them to pull away abruptly.

They both awkwardly look at each other, Daniel hurriedly walking over to the bedside table to grab his phone. He freezes slightly as he reads what it said, and Roman's brow furrows slightly. He then moves quickly, stuffing his phone in his pocket, and turning around to face him.

His face is still slightly flushed, and he looks up at Roman. There's something in Daniel's eyes, he seems awkward, and Roman can understand why, but at the same time, he looks nervous yet hopeful. He tilts his head ever so slightly in confusion at Daniel's behaviour.

"I, uh, I need to go out for a while," Daniel eventually says, failing to meet Roman's eye, and that's when he figured it out.

"D'you mind if I ask why?"

"Oh, nothing important, I'm just... meeting a _friend_."

Roman frowns at those words; he knows exactly where Daniel is going to go.

"You're going to meet Erick, aren't you? Please tell me that you're not, Daniel, he- he's not good for you. He's gonna hurt you again and I don't want to see you hurt again."

Daniel's top lip twitches slightly, and Roman probably would have missed it if it weren't for the fact that his eyes were plastered solely on Daniel's face. Roman is convinced that he is, and he knows that Daniel will tell him, he still feels so guilty about accusing Daniel, and Daniel had been so adamant that he wasn't lying, that Roman knows that he'll have to believe whatever Daniel says next. He wouldn't lie, _would he_? Daniel has been incessant that he was telling the truth, that he had been blamed although he was innocent, and Roman knows that he still has a long way to go before he can make up for it.

"I- I'm not gonna meet up with him, I promise," Daniel says, finally tilting his head up to meet Roman's eye, his hair falling in place.

Roman doesn't believe him, but he knows that calling Daniel a liar, would halt all the progress that he's made with him. He wouldn't lie, Roman knows that, but at the same time, there's an itch on the back of his neck: a gut feeling that maybe, just maybe he is.

"Ok, I believe you." Roman lies.

Something flashes in Daniel's eyes, but its gone again before Roman can figure out what it is.

Daniel looks once towards the door, and then back again at Roman.

"I, uh, I don't know when I'll be back. Ca-"

"I'll come back here later if you want me to."

Daniel nods his head, "yes please."

Roman walks towards Daniel, pulling him in for a soft hug. His cheek is pressed against Daniel's hair, and he says softly, "just don't do anything stupid."

Daniel lets out a laugh that feels wrong in all the places where it should feel right, "I wouldn't dream of it."


	4. Our lies are two

Daniel gives him a smile that doesn't quite seem genuine when they pull away, and he tries to ignore the way that Roman's touch lingers on his skin, he tries to ignore the way that Roman looks at him.

He doesn't think he deserves someone who looks at him the way that Roman does.

Daniel leaves after that, walking out the door as quickly as he could without it looking suspicious, wanting to get away from Roman before he did something that he would regret. His phone went off in his pocket just as he closed the door behind him, and Daniel swallowed thickly before getting it out and looking at it.

It was from Erick, and guilt burned in his stomach knowing that he lied to Roman. It was shameful, horrible and it made bile rise in his throat. Some part of him wishes that he had never listened to Erick, that he never lied to Roman, but he can't help but feel like he can fix the frayed relationship between him and Erick. There's a voice, that screams for him to stop walking and turn around, to go back to Roman who had helped him when he needed him the most, but no matter how loud the voice gets, no matter how much Daniel wants to give in and do what the voice says, he carries on, one foot in front of the other.

Erick told him to meet him at a cabin that Bray owned. Even though it was a few hours drive away, Daniel could feel the nerves setting in. He still remembered the cabin like it was the back of his hand; he could still picture every little detail as though it was as clear as day. He remembers going there back when Bray and Luke were with them, it was nice whilst it lasted, and while Daniel didn't feel quite like himself while surrounded by them, he felt like he was part of a family. A very, odd, and weird family, but a family nonetheless.

When he remembers just how that worked out his stomach twists into knots, and the knots twist harder, and tighter, once he remembers that he was the reason that the family broke apart. Would he still be welcome there? Daniel doesn't know, and for a split second he thinks of turning back, but his body doesn't let him, still carrying on forward. After all, it was Erick who invited him back there, so he obviously wanted Daniel to come back, but there's just something that won't allow him to stay calm about it. It feels wrong, but Daniel knows he has to do it: he has to make it better, he has to repair their relationship, no matter just how tattered and frayed it is.

Daniel knows that he has to help fix their relationship because he's the one who ruined it. Daniel knows that if he was different if he was better, stronger if he was smarter than maybe, just maybe they wouldn't be like they are. He was so caught up in the 'what ifs' that he fails to see the reality of the situation that he's in, or maybe he does, and he's just trying to change the way he perceives it to make that heavy feeling in his heart go away, either way, when Daniel finally reaches his car, his hand lingers on the handle. He remembers, for a split second, the smile that lit up Roman's face, he remembers the warm feeling of Roman holding him close, he remembers feeling Roman's breath fan against his lips and he glances back at the way that he came.

He thinks about letting go of the door handle, he thinks about seeing Roman again, he lets the thought of Roman wash over him, but as soon as those thoughts come, they leave again, replaced with stronger guilt. He shouldn't be feeling the way that he feels. He still owed Erick so much, and the guilt that twists and churns inside him is white-hot, seething and festering, it makes bile rise in his throat. He tears the door open and clambers inside before he can allow his feelings to become even more mixed. He turns the ignition on and drives.

It's actually almost strange how easily Daniel remembers where to go. The direction to the cabin is so fresh in his mind that even his subconscious would know where to go. He tries not to think about everything, he tries to ignore just how persistently Roman is inside his mind, reminding himself over and over again that he should be thinking about Erick instead. He turns on the music to try and drown out his thoughts, but it doesn't work.

He focuses solely on Erick, picturing him so clearly that he seems almost real, but the sight makes his stomach twist and his heart clench and for a split second he wonders if maybe, just maybe, he made the wrong choice. He still hates that he lied to Roman, even thinking about it makes bile rise to his throat and his hands shake. He forces himself to think about something: anything just so he doesn't somehow crash the car by how badly his hands shake and how blurry his vision is. He stares at the road ahead, at the passes trees and bushes and the colour of the sky, he pays attention to every little detail and finds his beat beating normally.

He's always loved nature, it was partly why he always loved it when they went to the cabin. He loved having the forest surrounding them, hearing the animals at night, seeing the stars shimmer and gleam. It was breath-taking. He always used to sit on the front porch, and just let the serenity of it all wash over. Sometimes Erick would sit with him, other times he would just let him be, and with the times that they sat together, they would talk. About things that were bothering them, about things they loved, Daniel always used to mention how he just adored the stars at night. It didn't take long before Erick was added onto the shortened list of all the things that Daniel Bryan loved.

It doesn't take long after that until Daniel reaches that all too familiar cabin, and suddenly all the nerves that he had managed to subdue are back, and stronger than ever. His stomach is knotted so tightly that he winces slightly; his heart beating faster than he wants it to. He gets out of his car, breathing in the fresh air which calms his nerves ever so slightly. He takes in his surroundings, and it feels exactly the same as before, but different almost. Sure things look the same, but they don't feel the same, before when he used to look at the forest, listening to the birds chirp and the leaves rustle, he would feel an elatedness that just wouldn't seem to deflate, but now, his heart feels heavy, and everything doesn't carry that special feel to it anymore.

That's what upsets him most out of the whole ordeal between him and Erick, is that everything that he used to enjoy just doesn't feel right without the other man by his side. The ground crunches beneath his feet as he walks, and Daniel tries to focus on it, trying to turn the attention away from the fact that he was going to see Erick. It would be so easy to turn around and go home, but some sort of sick curiosity, makes him walk up the steps to the porch.

His heart hammers in time with the knocks that he gives on the door, and only waits a few seconds before it opens.

"Erick," Daniel says, his voice breathless in awe and nervousness.


	5. Our paths are two

"Daniel," Erick says back, not sounding as nearly as excited as Daniel had expected him to be, making Daniel give him a forced smile, that felt appropriate, at the realisation.

And whilst Erick may not be overjoyed to see him, Daniel couldn't help the way that his heart hammered, thudding so loudly in his chest that Daniel swears that Erick can hear it. There a feeling somewhere inside him that doesn't feel quite right, but he shrugs it off: he pretends that he's happy because he is happy. Erick is right there in front of him, the Erick that he loves, the Erick that loves him just as much back. _His_ Erick is standing there right in front of him, so why, _just why_, does he feel like something is out of place. Daniel shrugs off the feeling, because Erick is right there in front of him, and he just can't help the smile that doesn't feel completely there on his face. Sure, Erick is back, but there's just something that feels not quite right, but for the moment Daniel just ignores it; instead, he tries to focus on the man that he loves is standing in front of him. 

Although, why does he feel like this Erick standing before him is not his Erick?

A hand is placed on his shoulder, and Daniel's first instinct is to flinch away, but he doesn't know exactly why. He was always safe with Erick, so why did he feel the need to move away? The touch is back on his arm, and Daniel looks up at Erick, there's something in his eyes, something that tells him that he's making a bad choice, that he shouldn't give in, but all the events of the past days, all the emotions built up inside him, the want, the need, to have Erick back is just too overwhelming.

He surges forward and buries his face in Erick's chest. Erick's hand is in his hair this time, it had always comforted Daniel, but this time, it doesn't work as well. It's almost like clockwork, what Erick does, a hand in his hair, shifting down to the back of his neck, and down some more to rub circles that should be comforting into his back. Daniel jolts when Erick's fingers touch his bruises and Erick takes the hint, moving his hand to a place without bruises, and Daniel clings tighter as a thank you. Daniel knows what's going to happen before it does, and he knows that he should feel better, and for the most part, he does. Erick brings the both of them inside, closing the door behind them, and despite how tightly Daniel is clinging to Erick, he just doesn't feel as right as he should.

He feels empty: bereft.

Erick just doesn't feel the same way he used to. Daniel doesn't like that, not one bit, he doesn't like how quickly everything's changed, how quickly his life got flipped upside down. It should feel right, but it doesn't. and Daniel clings just that little bit tighter onto Erick at the realisation. Being with Erick doesn't give him the relief that he thought it would, maybe it was because he doesn't want to be with Erick, no matter how many times his mind has told him that he does.

After all this time, wondering what it would be like if he had Erick back, wondering what it would feel like if he could just see the other man again, now that he has it, he doesn't want it as much as he thought he did.

_He wants Roman._

Daniel throws the thought out of his mind almost as soon as it comes. He doesn't want Roman, he wants Erick, and he _has_ Erick. He tells himself over and over and over again until he starts to believe it. He tries to remember all that Erick has done for him, all the times he's been there, comforting him, making him feel better, loving him. Daniel's hands curl into the fabric of Erick's shirt, holding on so tightly that his fingers start to hurt.

He convinces himself that he loves Erick, because he does, or at least, he tells himself that he does.

He thinks of all the times where Erick would hold him, telling him that everything would be better, he allows himself to believe that lie again. He doesn't even know why, but he's crying, wet, hot, tears drenching the front of Erick's shirt, causing the other man to tighten his grip on him. He loves Erick, he does, he really, _really_, does, and Erick loved him just as much in return, Daniel knew that.

His shoulders jerk with every sob, and he allows himself to be surrounded by the warmth that he missed so much. It may not feel right, but Daniel doesn't care: he doesn't care because it's Erick, and he loves Erick, he loves him so much. Erick's hand is back in Daniel's hair, comforting him, his voice low and soft in his ear, the affection making him cry just that little bit harder. Daniel needs him, even if he doesn't think that he does, and both men realise that.

"I love you so much, " Daniel says between sobs, shaking in Erick's hold, he doesn't know whether he fully believes what he said, but right there, right now, he just wants his Erick back.

"I know you do, Daniel, I know."

Erick holds him until his sobs die down, until his shaking stops, until Daniel's eyes feel heavy. He holds him, and holds him, and holds him and doesn't let go, and Daniel finally, _finally_, feels like he's safe again. Daniel sags slightly in Erick's hold, putting more of his weight on him.

"Do you want to come to bed with me?" Erick asks, the question making Daniel shiver.

He nods before he can truly think about it.

What happens next is a blur, and he can only remember a few things. He remembers the feeling of Erick's rough lips on his, of Erick's hands smoothing down his chest, his stomach, his thighs, making everything feel ok. Erick was gentle with him, being careful of the bruises that he doesn't quite seem too regretful of putting there, but there was a sort of detachedness about Erick's movement that Daniel noticed but was too overwhelmed by what he was feeling to delve on it.

It felt so natural that Daniel allowed the feelings to wash over him, not caring about the consequences of his own actions because the feeling of Erick was just too good to ignore.


	6. Our love is two

It's only when he wakes up that he realises just what he's done.

He's still groggy from just waking up, and his hand reaches out towards Erick, only to be met with air. He fumbles around blindly, trying to find him through half-lidded eyes. He gets up, out of bed, putting on his clothes as quickly as possible, suddenly feeling so very out of place. His body aches ever so slightly, the bruises from before have started hurting again, and Daniel stretches to try and alleviate the pain.

He lets out a hiss when his shirt touches the bruises as he puts it on, but ignores the pain, something more important niggling in the back of his mind. He walks into the living room, trying to think what to do next: he doesn't quite know whether to just leave or to find Erick. He wants to talk to Erick, he wants to see him, to try and fix their fragmented relationship, but at the same time, it doesn't feel right.

He loves Erick, he _really_ does, but he doesn't know if Erick loves him back.

He rubs his eyes as he walks through the door, and feels his heart drop when he sees Erick sitting with Luke. Their hands are entwined and Daniel envies the way that Erick looks at Luke. He seems so much happier with Luke: everything about him his brighter. His eyes shine in a way that they never did with Daniel, the smile on Erick's is wider and more genuine than Daniel has ever seen.

It makes bile rise in Daniel's throat.

Luke notices him first, and motions towards him with their entwined hands. Erick looks over to him at that point, and immediately all the love that was shining in his eyes as he looked at Luke was gone: it had vanished instantly.

"Daniel," Erick says, his voice hard, and Daniel tries to hide his shaking hands.

Daniel only stutters, like he just can't find the correct words. Erick gives Luke one more glance before standing up, letting go of Luke's hands to walk over to him, Luke stays sitting, seemingly unbothered by what was happening; it makes Daniel's skin itch. Had they planned this? No, they couldn't have, they're not like that; _Erick_ isn't like that.

Erick is sweet and kind, and he loves Daniel, he does, he really, _really_ does.

Erick does love Daniel... _right?_

Daniel thinks he does, he knows he does, but with every step that Erick takes towards him, he believes it less and less. When Erick finally reaches him, he towers over him, and Daniel feels so small. He looks up at him, his eyes round and glassy, and Erick almost pities him. Tears brim in Daniel's eyes and he just wants for everything to go away, he just wants everything to be how they were, he wants Erick, even though Erick seemingly doesn't want him.

He almost breaks down at the realisation that Erick is no longer his Erick, and that he oh so clearly enjoys being with Luke more than he does with him.

"W-what is this?" Daniel asks confusion laced ever so clearly in his voice.

"I think you already know, Daniel."

"No, I- I don't believe what's happening here."

Erick doesn't say anything, just looking down at Daniel, and Daniel silently begs him to say something: anything.

"You two are..." He trails off, and Erick still doesn't speak.

"D- do you still love me?" Daniel asks, meekly, his voice barely above a whisper, staring up at Erick with a saddening amount of innocence.

Erick remains silent still and that was answer enough, it would be so easy for Daniel to cry, but he doesn't because he doesn't want to be seen as weak in front of Erick. He doesn't want to break down, he doesn't want to cry, he wants to love, but he can't because the one _who_ he loves doesn't feel the same way.

"So y-you called me out here for no reason at all?" Daniel says, hastily wiping away a stray tear that falls down his cheek, "you told me to come all this way to- to _what?"_

"Daniel, look it's not like that y-"

"Not like that?" Daniel says incredulously, "I lied to Roman because of you. I lied. You made me lie, Rowan."

Erick's face hardens at the use of Roman's name, "Roman? You were talking to Roman?"

"T- that's not the point. The point is that I thought you cared about me, I _thought_ you loved me. But you don't, do you?"

"I wish you'd understand how hard this was for me."

"How hard this is for you? I loved you with every fibre of my being. I would have given everything to you, and you betrayed me. I would have done anything for you, Rowan."

"Dan-"

"You don't care about me, do you?"

Erick doesn't respond.

"So, I was just some spur of the moment thing, huh. Just someone who you could use to get your feelings out, I never meant anything to you, did I? You're just like everyone else, _Roman_ was right about you."

Something flashes red in Erick's eyes at the mention of Roman and for a split second, Daniel is scared. He holds his ground, but he can't stop the way that his heart jolts and hammers in his chest, just threatening to jump out.

Erick still doesn't respond, and Daniel continues, "you mean nothing to me anymore."

And that's when Erick finally, finally, speaks, he says, his voice low and soft, in a way that he knows always affects Daniel, it was the same voice that he always used to use when Daniel needed to calm down when all the stress and anger overpowered him.

"Oh, darling, why would you hurt me like that?"

Daniel's breath hitches in his throat, and his vision blurs even more. The nickname affected Daniel more than it should have.

He angrily wipes away his tears once they fall, "you don't get to call me that anymore. I would never to the things that you did to someone that I loved."

"Look, Daniel-" Erick says, his voice sounding more and more agitated by the second.

"I loved you all this time, and you didn't even care," he looks over at Luke, who has an impassive look on his face, Daniel knows that he never should have gone there, he knows that he messed up. Maybe he deserved it for lying to the one man who truly showed him some compassion. He doesn't know what to do, and even though he knows that Erick doesn't love him, that there was no point in trying to salvage their relationship, a part of Daniel just wants to grab onto Erick and not let go. That part of Daniel doesn't care that Erick hurt him, because all he wants is for Erick to hold him as he did before.

He loves Erick, he really, really, _does._

And maybe,_ just maybe_ that would be his downfall.


	7. Our lives are two

"I think you should leave, Daniel."

Daniel says nothing, just looking up at Erick as if trying to memorise even the tiniest detail of his face; just like he knows this is going to be the last time they meet for a time longer than he would like, his heart hurts, it hurts so damn much, and Daniel lets out a shaky breath. He's still in disbelief about everything, and his head spins ever so slightly. He silently agrees with Erick, turning his attention to the door.

He looks back at Erick for a split second, tears clouding his eyes, and even though he told himself that he wouldn't be seen weak in front of Erick, he can't help the way that it gets increasingly hard to hold back his tears. There are so many emotions that he feels, and he can feel himself getting overwhelmed, he can feel the breath that gets harder to take in.

He tries to calm himself down, convincing himself that this was just a lie that his mind created, that it was a nightmare, that Erick wasn't just standing there in front of him, telling him that there was no hope for them. His head hurts, and he's just so _confused_.

Did Erick just use him? Was the night before just some elaborate trick to break Daniel down even more? Did Erick love him the same way that he said he did all that time ago?

Everything Daniel thought he knew had just been flipped upside down, and Daniel hates it, he hates it _so damn much_.

He deserves better, he knows he does, but what he deserves and what he wants are completely different. It would be so easy to get on his knees and beg for Erick to take him back, but he knows, deep, _deep_, down he knows that he and Erick were never meant to be. He never should have allowed Erick to get so close to him, to let Erick affect him in the way that he has.

He never should have been kind enough to let himself love Erick.

Erick isn't good for him, he knows that Erick only hurts. He just wished that he knew that before he devoted his heart to him. He wished that he had been kinder to himself, not allowing Erick to worm his way past all the walls and barriers that Daniel so meticulously put up. He wished that he had never been so easily deceived.

"You never deserved me," Daniel says, trying to steel his voice, despite the way that it cracked in the middle.

"I never _wanted_ you."

Daniel would be lying if he said those words hadn't hurt worse than any injury he had ever had in the ring. It's as if he could feel his heart crumbling in his chest. He tries to say something after that but he stutters over his words. When no words form in his mouth, he looks down, knowing that there's no point trying to save their relationship: knowing that Erick was only going to hurt him again.

He shouldn't be there: he never should have been there.

He quickly strides towards the door, knowing how out of place he was and just wanting to leave before it, somehow, got worse, not turning around to look at either of the two other men, feeling both of their eyes peering at the back of his head. Nothing that Erick could do to him would hurt more than the way that he broke his heart. When he closes the door behind him, he breathes in the fresh air, hoping that it would somehow help to clear the rot that seemingly filled his lungs.

He missed the feeling of breathing fresh, clean, air: air that wasn't clouded over by pollution and smoke, he missed nature, and if only his encounter with Erick hadn't ended the way that he has, Daniel might have been able to appreciate it a bit more. He suddenly remembers how much Erick loved nature with him, how many hours they would spend marvelling over its beauty and then the pain is back, worse than ever.

He doesn't like feeling this way.

He doesn't like it one, _little_, bit.

Daniel hurries to his car, fully intent on getting away from Erick before he does something that he would regret, he just wants to have someone next to him, comforting him, telling him that everything's going to be okay. He tries not to think about all the times that Erick did that for him, turning all of his focus onto Roman. Sweet, caring, Roman, who only wants the best of him.

Guilt overtakes him: Roman doesn't deserve to be caught up in all of this. He deserves better, he deserves someone who is good for him, someone who isn't Daniel. He suddenly remembers that he told Roman to wait up for him and feels his stomach churn with guilt and dread. He gets into his car as quickly as possible, feeling the guilt burn through him like acid.

Tears well up in his eyes again, but he pushes them down, he needs to go back to Roman, he needs to apologise, he needs to do so many things, and his heart races in his chest, but nothing really matters anymore because he just needs to see Roman.

He realises how much time he wasted chasing after Erick, when Roman was there for him, caring for him. A blush rises to his cheeks when he remembers just how close they were the previous evening. He can't help but wonder what would have happened if Erick hadn't been on his mind, and he wondered what would have happened between the both of them if his phone didn't buzz and their lips connected.

And it's then, only just then, when he realises that Roman was the man that Daniel wanted Erick to be. He wanted Erick to care for him, to show compassion, understanding, love towards him, and when Erick hadn't, Daniel thought that he had to change himself to finally get what he longed for. When he thinks about Roman, his heart doesn't hurt as it does with Erick.

He wants to, _has to_, fix things with Roman: he has to tell him that he's sorry, that he'll do better, and suddenly the guilt is back, worse than ever once he remembers that he lied to Roman, he's always hated liars, he despises them, and now he's become the very thing that he detests. It makes bile rise in his throat once he remembers that it was Erick that did this to him.

Daniel always thought he was smart, but he's just realised how easily manipulated he was by Erick, was he so unlovable that he was willing to throw away all his morals for the first person to show that they loved him? Maybe it was just fate punishing him for lying to Roman. _Maybe he deserved it._

Driving home allows Daniel to think. He needed to think, to clear his head. But the more he thought, the more he realised just how much he messed up, he can tell himself as much as he wants that he and Erick were done, that he was going to move on, but he knows; he hates that he knows, that there was no way in hell, that the hole that Erick made in his chest was going to heal anytime soon.


	8. It will all be ok

He gets back to where Roman is before he knows it, and the nervousness, mixed in with guilt, is back again. He's hesitant in his movements to reach his room, but at the same time, hurried. He wants to see Roman, he wants to get it over and done with but he doesn't know how Roman will react: will he be angry, understanding, hurt, confused, Daniel just doesn't know.

The door to his room is in sight, but he sees it swing open, and Roman step out, he must have stayed the night, Daniel realises, and his stomach drops at the realisation. Roman closes it after him, and Daniel calls out his name, hurrying over to him. Roman sees him for what feels like the first time in forever, and there's a hardness to his features that helps Daniel realise just how Roman is feeling, and Daniel quickly decides that he doesn't like the way that Roman is feeling, not one bit.

"Daniel," Roman says, his voice steeled, and just the way that there's no sense of informality in his voice, no warmth in it, makes Daniel want to cry all over again.

"R- Roman, I-"

"You went to see him, didn't you?"

Daniel remains silent for a second or two, finally whispering out a quiet, "yes" when Roman's piercing stare is too much to handle.

Roman lets out a soft, disappointed, sigh, and Daniel didn't know how much something like that could hurt.

"Dammit Daniel, you said that you weren't going to see him."

"I- I know that, and I'm sorry bu-"

"Daniel, you promised me."

Daniel looks down, struggling to make eye contact.

"I just..."

"You just what?" Roman says, the coldness in his voice making Daniel flinch ever so slightly.

Daniel looks up at Roman now, his eyes are glassy like tears are threatening to spill, and Roman instantly softens.

"I just missed him," Daniel says, his voice meek and timid, wavering and threatening to crack.

Roman just says his name softly, walking towards him as he brings the smaller man in for a hug. Roman's arms curl around him, and his chin rests by Daniel's forehead. Daniel brings his arms up to his chest, clinging on to Roman's shirt. Tears overwhelm his eyes and a few drop before he's turning his head, fully burying it in Roman's chest. He doesn't want to cry, he's so tired already and it's barely even midday.

"I'm not going to be able to see him anymore, am I?" Daniel says, his voice barely audible, and muffled by Roman's shirt. He knows what the answer is, but he just doesn't trust himself to believe it. And he knows that he'll trust whatever Roman says.

"No, sweetheart, you're not."

Daniel doesn't say anything after that, he just tightens his grip on Roman's shirt and buries his face deeper in Roman's chest. He wanted to have some hope that he might be able to resolve things with Erick, and he hates that he did. Daniel doesn't know why he was so adamant on trying to hope that he and Erick could meet again, it's probably just some subconscious need to go back to him. For so long, Daniel had relied on Erick, and it feels strange not having the other man to confide in. Roman tightens his arms around Daniel, breaking him out of his thoughts, and Daniel just continues to clutch Roman's shirt.

It's after a while that Roman finally speaks to him, his voice low, and comforting.

"C'mon Daniel, let's go inside, it's getting cold out."

Daniel's mind at this point is too conflicted to think for himself, so he just nods silently. When Roman goes to pull away, distress takes over Daniel, and he momentarily tightens his grip on Roman's shirt, before he realises what's happening, and lets him continue. They untangle themselves from each other, but Daniel still holds onto Roman's shirt like it's his lifeline.

Once they're inside, Roman is quick to cater to him, bringing him close.

"Do you need anything?" Roman asks, his voice kind.

I need you, Daniel thinks, but instead shakes his head.

"Do you wanna lie down for a bit?" 

Daniel doesn't know what he wants at this point, he just hopes that his mind clears up soon, and Erick finds himself out of his thoughts. Although Daniel agrees, he doesn't know if he'll be able to sleep; he doesn't even know if he wants to sleep. It almost makes him laugh just how many times he's found himself on his bed, Roman holding him so delicately as if he thinks that Daniel might break at any second, in the past few days.

He knows that a past him would be mad at how Roman was treating him, angry that Roman pitied him, but that Daniel wasn't there anymore, no, he had left when Erick broke his heart. Roman motions for Daniel to climb onto the bed and Daniel obeys, immediately burying his face in the pillow, and lets out a deep, pained, sigh. A hand on his back comforts him, and Daniel turns his head to look at him.

"Are you gonna stay with me?" Daniel a certain lilt to his voice, that shows all his insecurities so clearly as if they were being screamed out loud.

"If you want me to."

Daniel nods his head and turns around so that he's on his back. Roman sits on the bed beside him, and Daniel lets out a quiet sigh as he mulls over everything that's happened. His heart still feels heavy from what Erick did to him, and he thinks that if he had any tears left to cry, they would fall.

"I'm sorry that I made you wait for me, I didn't know what was gonna happen with him, and I thought I would be back in time."

Roman nods, but he doesn't say anything, and Daniel realises that Roman's silence is probably a bad sign.

"Are you mad at me?"

"I'm upset that you lied to me," Roman says, and Daniel grimaces, guilt burning through his veins, "but I'm not mad at you, Daniel."

"I'm sorry," Daniel says, because he can't think of anything else to say, because he really is so, unbelievably, sorry for dragging Roman into the mess that he created, because all the words that he wants to tell him don't form in his mind so he just has to settle with a meagre apology that doesn't capture everything that he wants to say.

"It's ok," Roman tells him and Daniel has to fight the urge to scoff because how could it ever be ok.

Daniel sits up and tries to think of something to say to Roman to make things feel normal again. There's a tension in the air, and Daniel feels like he's suffocating in it. He wants to make a joke, to try and relieve some of it, but the timing isn't right, he wants to talk about Erick but it'll do more harm than good, he wants to talk about the fact that Daniel's heart feels different whilst around Roman, but he doesn't know how to voice his words.

Instead he thanks Roman, for everything that he's done: for being there, for looking after him, for helping him deal with the pain.

For helping me fall in love with you, Daniel thinks but doesn't say. Because, he might not act like it, but Daniel is smart, and he can tell from the way that his heart flutters that he does, truly, love Roman. And he knows because that was just how he felt about Erick.

If Roman left him just like Erick did... well, Daniel doesn't know how he'd get over it.

Roman gives Daniel what feels like the first genuine smile that he's given Daniel ever since he came back, and all those previous thoughts dissipate from his mind, and his heart flutters in his chest. Daniel has to remind himself just how to breathe and covers it up with a nervous chuckle. He knows, especially after Erick, he should be cautious about love, he knows how much it can hurt.

But if it was for Roman, Daniel would gladly do anything.

"It's not gonna be easy for you to forget what happened with him," Roman said, "but I'll be with you for every step of the way, don't forget that."

Daniel smiles at him, so wide and genuine that it could light up even the darkest of hearts. Daniel thanks him again, trying to hide how his voice wavers. Daniel sits next to Roman and rests his head on Roman's shoulder. It's more comfortable than Daniel thought it would be, and he feels Roman's head rest upon his own. It's comforting in a way he never knew it could be.

This can't be good, Daniel thinks, especially after Erick, this shouldn't be happening, he shouldn't let his guard down like this. 

But after all Roman has done for him, Daniel can't help but give in.

His heart picks up its pace ever so slightly, and a sudden urge rises up within him. He slowly moves his hand towards Roman's, testing the waters ever so slightly. His fingertips come into contact with Roman's palm, and he feels Roman's hand twitch slightly, and Daniel has half a mind to pull away and act like nothing happened, but he doesn't. 

His hand slides into Roman's, and he feels Roman's fingers curl around his own. His hand is warm, and it's so much bigger than his own, and he can't help the small smile that forms on his face when he feels Roman's rub soothing circles into his skin.

The two sit in silence, and Daniel quickly realises that Roman was all he needed.

"Daniel?" Roman asks, his voice quiet, but loud enough so that Daniel can hear.

"Yes?"

"I won't leave you, not like he did."

Daniel removes his head from Roman's shoulder and looks at him.

"That's all I want."

Roman grins at him and Daniel can't help but return it.

Maybe... just maybe everything would be okay with Roman by his side.


End file.
